Being in a relationship that truly makes you happy and that you love wholeheartedly can be one of the best feelings in the world. The feeling of everything falling into place – the puzzle pieces coming together just right. You name it those good feelings are there.
Of course during the honeymoon phase these feelings are as blissful as can be and it feels like there will never be an end. Awesome right!?
But what do you do when the “honeymoon” phase is over and you fall back into your subconscious routine? When you stop showing up and putting in the effort to make your relationship work. Yes, I’m saying that relationships take effort.
If you’re someone that is in a long distance relationship, that honeymoon phase can come and go fairly quick. Faster than you think. This type of a relationship brings about more growth somewhat quicker than your typical relationship.
With any relationship the internal demons we face will surface at some point along the way. Whether it’s a personal belief or issues with trust, believe me it is bound to push its way to the top. It is how you and your partner face these battles that will make or break you.
Take my relationship for example – I struggle with the belief that I am, and never will be, good enough for anyone. Each time these thoughts creep up my whole demeanor changes and I’m not myself. I become a Negative Nancy quicker than you can blink.
How my boyfriend handles me and my demons is what truly makes for a good relationship. He simply just shows up and listens. Shows me why I am enough and worth it. Not by doing anything elaborate, but by doing the little things. Putting in that little bit of extra effort to help me reverse my thought process.
You have to be willing to guide each other along the way. Work together to fight your battles. Grow together.
Often times when your loved one is having a bad day, the best thing you can do is listen. This is not only important in any relationship, but is extremely important in long distance relationships. Not being able to be there with someone to hug and hold after a rough day is tough – for both parties involved.
The best way to help them combat their day is to listen to them. Let them vent, say I love you and that it is going to be ok. Discuss ways that they can turn their day around and maybe even send them a little love note a few minutes later.
Listen to what they have to say and do the little things to make them smile and feel better.
Being so far apart from the one you love can really take a toll on you at times. Moments when you need them to be there the most, they’re not – when you wish you could celebrate your wins together, they can’t be there – just wishing you could have them to hold. These are the moments when the loneliness of it all can kick in.
This is where brainstorming with your loved one can help combat these feelings. Come up with ways you can work together to not feel lonely. Talk about the little things you can do that will make each other feel loved, wanted and not alone.
Something as simple as randomly texting a heart to each other makes all the difference.
This is the most important part of working through the tough moments. When you’re around your partner everyday or around them once a month there will be times when they do something to annoy you. You’ll bicker or get into an argument. This is where love and showing up will help.
No matter how small the argument or the annoyance, always remember why you’re together. Think about why you love them and decide to show up. The second you make this decision you’ll realize that it is not worth arguing – yes, that one thing may have annoyed you but who cares, you’re together.
In the world of long distance relationships you rely on communication to get you through. You’re not with your partner to see their body language during conversations, or in general. Things can be miscommunicated quicker than you can imagine.
Working together to communicate and to learn how to communicate better is a key aspect of getting through the good and the bad days. If you find that what you’re trying to say isn’t coming across the way you’d like it to, ask your partner how they feel you can communicate better. Be open to suggestions.
Relationships are about working together to find what works best. No one way is the right way. Get creative and come up with a method of communication that works for you.
The fact of the matter is – if you love someone you’ll show up for them. You’ll work together to figure out ways of communication that work for your relationship. You’ll never leave the honeymoon phase because you are willing to continue to put in the effort.